Win Some, Lose Some
Every so often I check out Merriam-Webster’s “Word of the Day” because, while I can always invent my own words, finding out more about existing ones can be fun (and, gasp, educational), too. Today’s pick is “winsome,” which means, in M-W’s laconic definition, “pleasing or cheerful.” [Full disclosure, “today” was last Tuesday. I’m a very slow typist.]
While winsome is a pleasant tern, full of positive energy and rolling ever so nicely off the tongue, I’m more interested in the word that popped unbidden into my brain to describe the definition: laconic, a term I’ve ratblurtized, or should I say, ridictionalized?, more than once in the past. M-W defines laconic as “speaking or writing with Spartan brevity.” Plunging further down the hareliterapeture [literary rabbit hole], the adjective “Spartan” references something or someone “marked by simplicity, frugality, avoidance of comfort or luxury, strict self-discipline, severity, brevity in speech, hardihood in the face of pain or danger” (phew! all that?).
The word Spartan is associated with the word laconic because the latter derives from Laconia, the region in Greece that was home to the ancient city-state Sparta. So, apparently, the ancient Spartans were known for all of the qualities described above, most notably being men and women who spoke little (and, as we know from history, carried humongous sticks). Here’s a taste from the Ancient Impressions website, which sells, improbable as it may seem, a poster of “A Laconic Conversation”:
Philip [King of Macedonia]: It’s Phillip. I’m on my way. What’s your answer about submitting to my rule?
Spartans: No.
Phillip: Oh… Well, I’m coming down anyway. When that happens, do you want me to come as a friend, or a foe?
Spartans: Neither.
Phillip: Look, if I invade Laconia as an enemy. I WILL TURN YOU ALL OUT; destroy farms, slay your people, and raze your city!
Spartans: If.
According to Ancient Impressions (and Plutarch), the above conversation is a real exchange from around 346 BC. This back and forth reminds me of the 2003 movie Fargo, where many of the Vikincestrial [of Scandinavian background] Minnesotans seem to have a vocabulary limited to “oh, geez” and “you betcha.” The similarity lends credence to my theory that the cradle of civilization was really Norswedmark [Norway-Sweden-Denmark] rather than Mesopotamia. In being laconic (or more correctly lakonisk), the ancient Spartans were exhibiting the prominent traits of their foreparents, who, as Vikings do, came, saw, fought, plundered, spread their seed, and forthwith departed, probably because lutefisk was scarce in Greece. Thus, laconicity is a DNA-commanded, not learned, behavior.
Sadly, being closemouthed is not winsome but just the opposite: losesome. I can take solace, though, in this proverb from the Norwegian playwright Henrik Ibsen, who said, being uncharacteristically and ironically verbose, “a thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed.” I figure I can now quote Henrik whenever someone asks, “Cat got your tongue?” While that conveniently takes me off the conversational hook, it sticks me with that pesky deed thing. Now I actually have to get out of my chair and do something, presumably, if I get Ibsen’s drift, an act of high moral value. Oh, geez.
(Image: “Leif! Come back, Leif!” Bust of Spartan king Menelaus pining for the long-gone Norseman. Giacomo Brogi, 1822–1881. Public domain.)
Published originally on RatBlurt™, January 20, 2022.
