So Help Me Us (or Scotland)

Here’s an interesting statistic from a story published today. In fact, it’s the headline to the story: “Those married in Humanist ceremonies are three times less likely to divorce.” At least in Scotland. The article, written by Jessica Lindsay, appeared on the UK’s Metro website. The humanists, according to Lindsay, describe their ceremony as “a ‘meaningful ceremony that isn’t religious’ and [yet] ‘differs from a civil wedding in that it is entirely hand-crafted and reflective of the humanist beliefs and values of the couple, and conducted by a celebrant who shares their beliefs and values.’” She cites a study of Scottish marriages over the past 15 years as finding that “0.25% of couples who had a humanist marriage got divorced in 2017–18, compared to 0.84% of all other couples,” including those wed in civil ceremonies.

Lindsay tells us that “humanist ceremonies allow couples to recite their own vows, marry outdoors or in other non-traditional venues, and get to know their celebrant to plan out their day.” But here’s the big takeaway from her piece, a quote from a humanist celebrant:

“The low divorce rate for humanist marriages may well be because of the reflection and consideration that couples having these ceremonies put into preparing their wedding day. Humanist wedding ceremonies look at the reason behind choosing to get married and how to create a solid, thought-through foundation.”

So, the humanist approach to marriage seems to have a significant effect on connubial longevity. The more astounding discovery is that all marriages in Scotland, regardless of type, have incredible success rates in terms of not ending in divorce. The overall divorce rate in Scotland is less than one percent. Here are the 2018 divorce rates for the ten “top” countries in the world:

1. Belgium: 71%
2. Portugal: 68%
3. Hungary: 67%
4. Czech Republic: 66%
5. Spain: 63%
6. Luxembourg: 60%
7. Estonia: 58%
8. Cuba: 56%
9. France: 55%
10. United States: 53%

It makes sense that people getting married in humanist ceremonies, whether they are themselves humanist or not, would stay together longer. The CEO of Humanists UK explains it this way: “Humanist weddings are deeply personal, with a unique ceremony crafted for each couple by a celebrant that gets to know them well and ensures that their script and vows reflect precisely who they are and the commitment they are making to each other.”

So, if you are considering marriage or even renewing your vows, going the humanist route seems a logical choice for understanding who you are, why you want to get married, and what commitments it will take to keep you together. Or, as a tongue-in-cheek alternative, you could move to Scotland and get married there. I’m not sure why the Scots appear to be better at this. Perhaps it’s something in the water…or the scotch.

[Published originally on TNTBAD, March 12, 2019.]